First things should always be first. I would like to thank every person who a)reads this blog, b)has prayed for me in the last month, c) has given me any sort of material/financial support. This has been a very big lifestyle adjustment and I would not be able to do any of this if it were not for every iota of support I receive from every person. So thank you.
I have been at LIV for just under a month and I can honestly say I could not have imagined this place and the experiences it yields. When planning to be here for this volunteer period, I was under the impression that I would spend my time here assisting the special needs teacher who works at the school. This is currently the case. There will, however, be a change. Considering my teaching qualification, the headmistress of the school has decided that I should be teaching my own class. As soon as our new classrooms are built I will be assigned one of these classrooms and seven children to call, ‘my kids’. I will essentially be facilitating remedial education for these children as many of them have endured delays in their education.
As I wait to start this journey, I am thoroughly terrified (this is apparently an emotion I am becoming increasingly familiar with). As a nice high school English teacher, I do not posses even a wisp of an idea of how to do this job. I do not know how to discipline these children. I do not know how to handle their responses when they feel emotionally charged and most of all I know nothing about the content they are meant to learn.
A week or two ago, a very wise lady on the Village said, “We don’t care about your qualification”. She did not mean to say that any form of tertiary qualification is useless or unwanted but she meant to point out that if God has called you here, He may plan to use you in an area that you had never anticipated. And those He calls, He equips (people keep using their most reassuring voices as they remind me of this).
I know that God has brought me here and He is leading me into some kind of work that I had not anticipated. He is leading me into something that scares me very much and that I do not know how to do. As He does so, I recognise more and more each day that the only way of doing this “job” is by running back to Him at every moment. There is no space on the Village for self-reliance. This is a very difficult reality to face.
I have to have faith that He will show me what to do. I have to have faith that He will teach these children through me. The beautiful thing about being totally terrified by what you are meant to be doing is that it emphasizes your need for someone else to do it. So all I can do, everyday, is pray that He will do the job.